


Small Talk and Sundaes

by LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dante (Devil May Cry) is a Mess, Father Figures, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kids Keeping Their Dad From being Stupid, Medication, Pre-Devil May Cry 5, References to Depression, Support Systems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26037427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio/pseuds/LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio
Summary: Nero and Patty drag Dante out for ice cream and an explanation.
Relationships: Dante & Nero (Devil May Cry), Dante & Patty Lowell, Patty Lowell & Nero
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	Small Talk and Sundaes

**Author's Note:**

> The second of two fics I finished today!

Bills, bills, bills.

_Vrooom._

Dante hears a car park outside the building.

Turning his head back to his papers, he hopes they’ve come to life and left on a magical adventure off his desk.

Nope. Still there.

_Shit._

While he debates whether or not it’s not too late to just sell the place and go back to dancing, the door opens and a certain rude little shit walks to face him across the desk.

“Damn, Gramps,” Nero starts, “This place looks worse everytime I come by.”

“Exit’s that way if you’re just gonna bitch,” Dante tells him, not even looking up from his papers.

“Rude,” the kid bites back, “After I come all this way from Fortuna to visit. How ‘bout a, ‘Hey, Nero, how’ve ya been? Why don’t you sit down and tell my wrinkly old ass what you’ve been up to, my beloved employee whose mere presence fills me with joy?’” He says in the worst impression of his voice Dante’s ever heard.

“Alright,” Dante shoots back, “How about you go sit yourself on the couch and we play a nice long game of ‘Shut Your Mouth and do Dante’s Taxes for ‘Im While he Takes a Nap?’ You always loved that one when you were here.” He reminisces fondly.

“ _Tcch,_ That is never happening again,” The kid asserts, crossing his arms defiantly, “Instead,” Nero says with an amused glance, “We’re gonna play, ‘Hop in the Van, We’re Getting Ice Cream.’”

“Oooh, tempting,” Dante teases, “But I’m gonna kick it here; if you bring a sundae back, though, I’m not stoppin’ you.”

“Dante,” the kid says, entering serious mode, “You need to get out of here for a second and talk to us, we’re getting worried.”

“…‘Us?’” Dante asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you pushed us too far, so we brought in the big guns.”

The ‘big guns’ takes this as her cue to walk in, blonde curls bouncing and pink dress swaying.

“Dante,” Patty begins, “This office is a pigsty, and we are going to clean before we go out for ice cream, understood? Don’t you roll your eyes at me!” The girl nags, grabbing him by the ear.

“Yeeoww!” Dante yelps, “What are they teachin’ ya at school, S&M?!”

“Ewww!” Patty declares, “Don’t say stuff like that, I’m not Trish!”

 _Or Kyrie_ , Nero thinks to himself.

“Now grab a bucket, and start mopping!” The harpy orders, “You too Nero, this is a team effort!”

“I don’t work for this branch anymore!” The boy argues.

“Then leave or stop whining and actually do something for once!”

“Why, you little-!”

“Okay, okay,” Dante cuts in, waving the two down, “Let’s not add a layer of ungrateful brat blood to the walls; just do what Patty says, Kid, save yourself the migraine.”

Huffing, Nero crosses his arms but eventually concedes, “Fine.”

“Then let’s get cleaning, already!” Patty declares, tying her hair back, rolling up her sleeves, “Dante take the floors, Nero you dust, I’ll get the Devil Arms.”

As she walks past them to get supplies, saying, “And after this, we will reward ourselves with sundaes!” To which Nero gives Dante a smug look, smirk curved in that, “Suck it” way he loves to do when he knows he’s already won.

“Touché, little brat,” Dante admits.

Settling a hand on Dante’s shoulder, Nero promises, “I’ll look over your taxes when we get to the diner.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Friday night at Fredi’s, as usual, is comfortably between nicely spacious and desolate, just the way they like it.

After getting there in that huge thing Nero blew his cash on (“She’s gonna look great in a couple months, you’ll see you assholes, you’ll all see!”), the three make their way to a booth, tired but victorious from having tackled the office and lived to tell the tale.

“-so then,” Patty chatters on, filling the space as usual as she sits down next to Dante, across from Nero, “Shanda told me that Garrett _did_ go home with Brian after the party and then he totally lied about it to Jasmine’s face!”

“…Who?” Dante asks, having already gotten lost in Patty’s motormouth.

“Ugh! Jasmine, Shanda’s roommate! Remember?!”

“Right!” He lies, “So…why does she care again?”

“Because she’s Katie’s sister!”

“…”

“Ohmigod, Katie is Garrett’s girlfriend, Dante! Have you even been listening to me?!”

“Not gonna lie, I got lost around, ‘I grabbed a glass of water on Sunday.’”

“Ughhhhh! Do I need to start all over again?!”

“Patty,” Nero warns, “If you start talking about your stupid wannabe _Degrassi_ bullshit again _,_ I will leave you here. No one gives a damn about who’s going up who’s ass, got it?”

Pouting, Patty mutters, “I’ll think about this the next time you need a babysitter.”

“Whatever,” the boy shoots back, “We’ll just call Dante; the kids love playing with him.”

“Aww,” Dante mocks, “I’m flattered.”

“Dante!” The waitress greets, “Oh! And kids! It’s been a while since you guys came over!”

“Hey, Crystal!” Patty says back as Nero responds with a, “Yo” and a two-finger salute and Dante winks.

“Finally had some time off? Alright, let me see if I can get it this time,” She starts as she puts a finger to her temple with her eyes closed. Popping them open she goes, “Alright!” before pointing to each of them with, “Two strawberry sundaes, one with hot fudge and nuts,” she says as her finger gets to Patty, receiving a cheerful nod in confirmation, “And one black currant!” She says to Nero, who gives her a thumbs up in response.

“Got it, baby,” Dante confirms, a finger gun pointed at their server.

Giggling, the waitress heads back.

“We’re going dutch!” Patty shouts to her, relieved when she gets a nod back.

“Oh?” Dante questions, surprised, “Now you two want to take pity on your poor friend Dante?”

“Shut up,” Nero grumbles, “But, yeah, Julio was asking the other day when the next time Uncle Dante was coming over would be; you should stop by, Gramps.”

“I have a long weekend coming up,” Patty agrees, “We could go together! And I can tell you _everything_ about the whole Garrett situation!”

“First of all,” Dante shoots back, “The proper term is ‘Silver Fox;’ second, Patty, I’d rather shove scorpions up my ass then hear you go on about crap your parents aren’t forking over their retirement funds to send you runts to school for. And third, I’m not feelin’ it right now, Kid, maybe later.”

A silence hits the table.

“Okay Dante,” Nero begins after a bit, “What’s going on? You don’t leave the office unless you have a job, you aren’t even _trying_ to keep it clean, you don’t answer the phone and you keep blowing us off, what’s up with you?”

“Did something happen?” Patty asks, “Something crazy come up? You can talk to us,” she pleads.

Eying the two worried kids, Dante sighs and asks, “Who called? Lady or Trish?”

Grimacing a bit, Patty admits, “Lady called me.”

“Trish,” Nero moans out, “She came by on Wednesday.”

“Wow,” Dante says, “Double team.”

“Well they see you more than we do,” Patty mutters, looking to the side.

“…”

“Ice cream!” Crystal announces, lowering a tray with frosty goodness on it, “For the cuties from the office!” She beams, placing their orders in front of them and setting out spoons, “Enjoy!” And she heads over to the next patron.

Giving the older man a pleading look, Patty begs, “Dante, please, just talk to us.”

“What?” He objects, “I can’t have some alone time every now and then? It ain’t a big deal-”

“Bullshit!” Nero blurts out, thankfully not loud enough to cause a scene, _Good job, Kid, you’re really gettin’ a handle on your social skills,_ “Look, I don’t know what’s wrong, but…damn it, you’re just turning into some kind of hermit and…ughh, you’re so… _miserable_! What is going on? Did we do something, are you mad at us? Fuck, you gotta tell us what’s wrong, man!”

“It ain’t yer problem,” Dante argues back, “If somethin’s up, I handle it. If I don’t, then I don’t, that’s how it goes,” he shrugs.

“Like hell!” Nero shoots, gripping the table, “When something’s messing with you, it messes with all of us! That’s how friends work, dumbass! So tell us what’s going on, or I will go into your closet and piss over all your gaudy old red coats!”

“Why you-”

“Dante,” Patty cuts in, solemn, “When was the last time you took your meds?”

…

“What?” Nero utters almost inaudibly, anger subdued, face in horror, “You’re…taking them, right?”

_Shit._

“It’s almost like,” Patty continues, “the last time, when we met, you were so…I don’t know, _destroyed._ And then it looked like you were getting better, but then I moved in with my mom and by the time you took that job for Lucia…” She trails off, looking close to crying, “And when you came back…we made you start taking it.”

“…What. Happened?” Nero gets out, determined but afraid.

“Nero…”

“Don’t try and fucking keep me out of it, Patty, what happened after he got back?” Nero spits.

“Nero,” Patty shoots back, firmer, “No one is keeping anything from you, but we’ll talk about it later, okay?”

Glaring, looking down, Nero eventually nods.

“…Ice cream’s gonna melt,” Dante observes.

“Dante,” Nero spits, “Don’t fucking play with us right now, answer the question.”

“Look,” he tries to explain, “Sometimes, people don’t…need them anymore and it’s cool.”

“That’s clearly not the case for you,” Patty replies bluntly, “And you know it.”

“Well it ain’t your problem if I don’t, now is it?” He replies petulantly, “And if I do, don’t really matter if I’m not seein’ anyone.”

“What part of my whole friends spiel did you not get, asshole?!” Nero cuts in.

Finally starting to get pissed, Dante grits out, “The part where I gotta tell my shit to two brats that don’t even live within five hours of here anymore!”

“…”

“…”

… _Shit._

“Dante,” Patty finally says, because the brat’s too clever for her own good, “Do you…miss us?”

“…I miss you as far as I can throw you.” He deflects, looking to the side.

“You’re not taking your meds,” Nero cuts in, damn kid’s getting better at figuring out implied stuff, “Because you don’t feel like you need to, because we’re not around that much anymore?”

“…Sure,” Dante states sarcastically, “You kids want to hear that I need ya to nag me to make myself get outta bed? Eh? That what ya want? You want that in writing? Put it over yer fireplace for everyone to see?”

“Quit screwin’ around!” Nero demands, “This isn’t a game, Dante!”

“Why couldn’t you just tell us you were lonely?” Patty asks, “We could have worked something out!”

“I’m not gonna make ya two drop what yer doin’ to check up on me,” Dante tries to reason, “You got your own lives now, I’m not gonna mess with that.”

“Dante…” Patty starts, “You’re still a part of our lives, and we still need you. Just because we’re not right here all the time doesn’t mean we’re never coming back.”

“You’re not getting rid of us that easy, Gramps.” Nero teases lightly, with a slight chuckle, “So just tell us when there’s something wrong, okay?”

“…Silver fox,” Dante insists.

“Please just say you’ll take your meds so we can eat our ice cream,” Patty smiles at him.

“…Well,” he begins after a bit, “If it’s for ice cream…”

That earns a giggle from Patty and a shove from Nero.

“Alright, alright,” he finally agrees, “If it’ll keep you two off my ass.”

“Not even close,” Patty sweetly denies.

“Uggghhh, why do I put up with you two again?”

“Because we own you.” Nero shoots out as he stuffs a spoonful into his mouth.

“Because you love us!” Patty says in agreement, high fiving Nero.

“…Is that a reference or somethin’?” Dante asks, confused.

“Patty’s stealing a strawberry.” Nero deflects, continuing to stuff his face.

“What?!” And he catches the little thief, smacking her hand, “The hell she is! You try that again and I’m gonna make your hair look like Nero’s!”

“Hey!” The boy yells around a full mouth, offended.

“ _GASP!_ Dante, how could you be so cruel?!” Patty says in shock.

“Hey!”

“…Yeah, maybe that was a bit too much,” Dante concedes.

“What the fuck do you two have against my hair?!”

Taking a second to look at each other uneasily, Patty eventually says, “Nero, the haircut in itself isn’t bad, but…it’s just not working for you. It’s just not.”

“Not your best decision, Kid,” Dante agrees.

“I refuse to take fashion advice from a man who can’t seem to get the memo that red coats will never be in,” he gestures to Dante, who gasps at the accusation, “and a chick who doesn’t know what time period she’s in,” he says to Patty who fumes, “Lolita is _always_ in style!” in retaliation.

“Just admit it looks bad,” Dante tells him.

“Seriously,” Patty continues, “You could pull off so many hairstyles, but the faux hawk just isn’t one of them! Like, this one guy in my history class has this hairstyle with pretty long hair he keeps shaved in the back that would look _so_ good on you!”

“What are you doing lookin’ at boys in class?” Dante asks, “You’re not lettin’ ‘em keep you your education, are you?”

“No!” Patty quickly affirms, “No boy is worth me getting anything less than a ‘B!’”

“Attagirl,” Dante praises, ruffling her hair.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Once they get back to the office, the kids quickly get back to calling the shots.

“Alright,” Patty starts, “There’s no way that campus is open right now, so it looks like we’re having a sleepover, Dante.”

“Alright,” he quickly agrees, “I’ll get Trish’s room ready.”

“Guess I should start heading out then,” Nero says to no one in particular.

“What, no!” Patty interjects, “Stay, it’ll be fun!”

“I-”

“ _Please._ ”

“…I’ll go call Kyrie,” Nero eventually concedes, dragging his feet.

Settling on the couch, Patty beckons Dante to join her, “Come on, let’s pick a movie and make some popcorn!”

“No romcoms!” Nero calls out.

“You don’t appreciate plot!”

“They’re all the same damn thing!”

“At least the story’s coherent, Mr. _The_ _Fast & The Furious 12_!”

“Screw you!”

“Blegghhhhhh!!!!”

“Bllleegggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!”

Chuckling at the antics of the kids, Dante takes his seat on the couch, content for now.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be working on a sequel to this, so please wait!


End file.
